The help.. The Gambino House Nannie

The Gambino house nannie has to be the hardest working person in the family. They are essentially our parents. We spent more time with them than our parents. The cycle continued with my kids and nieces and nephews. Its really a vicious cycle that needs intervened. A direct effect of the house nannie is unhealthy relationships with parents. I feel like they are almost strangers now. Not much has changed now that I am older with my own kids. When I speak to my parents its almost like I don't even know them and its hard to talk to them or get any objective achieved during any conversation. I fear my own kids go through this sad reality as well.
A typical day for a Gambino nannie starts with getting children up and ready for school.. then off to school. Then if there is still children home, they will spend the day catering to the children's every need. As well as cook sometimes (we had a cook that cooked), clean, laundry, and anything else needed done. Once the kids get home from school or get out of school the nannie will do after school practices, carpooling, school sport and other events, PTA, parent/teacher conferences.. Then whatever needs done.. homework, bath, whatever needs or wants done by the children. The nannie does the shopping and plans events at the home (holidays, anniversary's, family trips, parties, dinners, etc.)  She picks up the slack for whatever other part of the house staff is lacking. They make 1,400$ a week. Live for free on the property in the nannie quarters. Not very much considering the nannie does more than my multi-millionaire parents. I couldn't ever be a house nannie.
The children's relationship with the nannies are what parents and children should be. Its sad really. But we are lucky to have at least a house nannie to lean on. Parents are rarely around (I call it an excuse so they don't have to be around.) I know because right now my own children are with family and our house nannie and house staff. Its nothing I am proud of but its all I know. I cant figure out how to break this cycle myself. Its harder than it appears. I don't know HOW I am going to raise this baby I am pregnant with.. Rico said I cannot have a house nannie. I don't know what the heck I'm going to do. It will however, be interesting to see how different this child turns out compared to myself and my other kids. I have a lot of work ahead of me.. and I am starting completely over at 32 years old and scared to death. Most people want their family.. i.e parents around when they give birth to a child and the following weeks/months. Not me, I want my house nannie. I am just now able to do my own laundry and wash dishes and clean me and rico's house. On my own. I hate that, but then again its my reality.
I am thankful I had a house nannie, she was my best friend, parent, teacher, doctor, babysitter, she was a part of my family. Its weird we are being raised by another person and we end up still like our parents in so many ways. I adopted 2 boys and I've raised them for the past 11 years and they are just like me.. or more so like me than their parents. I thought I would be more like my nannie. I am in some ways but I sometimes think I am too much like my crazy mother and busy reclusive father. I wish I would have had a choice in the matter of a house nannie.. maybe I wouldn't be so scared to give birth right now. I have never even changed a diaper on my own. SMH this will be interesting.

It happens in 3's..

Tomorrow  (Feb 12th) marks one of the worst days of my life. November 28th 2009 I gave birth to the most adorable baby girl Dell'Amore Carmelita Gambino she was 2 months early. She was just over 3bs. But perfect in every way. She lived only almost 3 months. I remember the events that unfolded on one of the worst days of my life. It was early morning February 12th 2010 and my husband got up to run to the store while the house Nannie got the kids ready for school. I was sleep. I was out until 3 am for work, the night before, I had held a Valentine event at the convention center. I had Jagged edge and R. Kelley in concert. This is when I owned my record label. Most nights we're late nights at shows or in the studio. So I slept late often. But that day was odd, out of nowhere I wake up at 7:27 and as I looked at my alarm clock at the time I glance over and seen Dell'Amore laying on her stomach with her little butt poked up in the air. I could tell her dad had moved her. She was between my husband and I when I went to sleep. I reached over and rubbed the back of her head. And she didn't even flinch. She was a very light sleeper. Would respond to any stimuli. So I kinda wiggled her butt with my hand. She didn't move. I hurry and grab her up and flip her over and she is greyish blue. The ugliest color you have ever seen. She was lifeless. I was worried I would hurt her so I sat her down and called 911. I'm screaming and yelling and I don't remember a word I said to the dispatch. I just remember trying to keep the kids from seeing their sister lifeless on the bed. But my daughter Haley wouldn't listen she just had to be with her new sissy. She ADORED her. Exactly what she always wanted.. a sister. She was devasted to a sickening degree. A degree in which she still has issues today. She never was right after her sister died. So I let Haley hold her sisters hand. The house Nannie was keeping the boys occupied. I'm running from one end of the house to the other looking for my husband. Was she like this when he left? His cell phone on the table next to the bed. Emt arrived finally it seemed like forever. Then my husband got back. He runs inside. They had to hold him back he was hysterical as was I. This was tragic. They laid Dell'Amore on our kitchen table to work on her. They seemed to be taking forever to open plastic wrap off their medical instruments and stuff. She just lied there turning blueer and blueer. I'm cussing them at this point. I got infuriated by this time and yelled my father is a doctor if you don't start doing something to my child to save her I swear none of you will have a job. They swiftly had officers move me. They got her pulse and took her to the hospital. In the ems on the way I called family. Within minutes there was every family member in the area at the hospital. The cops seen that as a kid in a candy store. We we're on the news. In newspapers. I made front page.. the following day. I went to the newspaper office and threw the biggest fit. I almost lunged at the woman when she said what she posted was freedom of speech and the public has a right to know. I felt violated. They got pictures of my family grieving over my daughter. They got a picture of the doctor kneeled down in front of me telling me she wasn't revivable. After that moment I screamed and cried.. I swear heaven could hear me. After I calmed down they let us go see her. I'll never forget that long walk down that cold white hall. My husband on one side, my father on my my  other side. As I neared her room I could see her just lying there on the gurney. I fell to my knees screaming hysterically. My dad sat in the floor with me as I cried. He held me and cried with me. All I could say is no!!!! And why!!!?? Begging and pleading God to give my baby back. All the family gathered and helped me through this and walked me to the hospital room. There was at least a hundred family members, coaches, teammates of my husband. I walked into that cold room. I gently sat on the gurney next to where my lifeless daughter laid. My father sat next to me. He picked up my daughter and held her. He was just looking down the whole time. Crying. Looking at his granddaughter. He then put her in my arms. My arms felt like me jelly. I could barely breath. Looking down at my daughter as she lay freely and lifeless in my arms. They say there is no physical pain in heartbreak. Thats the biggest, hardest lesson I learned first hand. I swear I literally felt my heart break. All I could do is cry. Why couldn't God have taken me instead? I have plenty of health problems and she didn't. I tried to beg, plead and bargain with God.. He only moves in His will. Unfortunately, my screams seemed unheard. My daughter was now an Angel in heaven with Him and her siblings. Remember the title of this entry is "It comes in 3's.." yes this is a horror that for some reason only known to God, the supreme being that has repeatedly ripped my children from me. For why? All I can do is trust in Him. The next few days we're a blur thanks to Xanex. We let my husbands football coach do the grave side service after mass. We let Haley pick her dress out we buried her in. People and family came from all over the world. A couple thousand people signed the book at the funeral. I don't really remember the service but I remember walking into Christ The King Catholic Church.. my home parish. Her white casket with hundreds of flower arrangements stood at the front of the stage of the cathedral. I walked up to her casket and leaned over and clutched it with every ounce of life I had in me. I cried out. Screaming again. Begging again.  This hurt so bad. My father spared no expense for her  service, casket, and burial. He had her casket inside designed like her nursery. Pink and brown. She was buried in a purple baby Gucci dress. We put her necklace, ring and bracelet on her. Painted her nails. She reigned as her little princess self for only a short time but she forever is my princess. As I set in me and Rico's bed  where I am writing this entry.  I am reminded I am 7 weeks pregnant. Can you imagine having to write about burying your children while pregnant with another baby? I hate to think of how I will be after the baby is born. I am crying as I type this. I cannot imagine.